Experts say I should tell readers of this blog a bit about who I am. In light of this question I always think of the movie Anger Management with Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson. Jack’s character, a therapist named Dr. Buddy Rydell, helps Adam’s character, Dave Buznik, get a grip on his anger issues. Ultimately Buddy is helping Dave take control of his life, to include proposing to his long-time girlfriend Linda. Is it just me or does Adam Sandler have a Linda character in every movie? In a group therapy session, Buddy asks Dave, to tell the group something about himself. It goes like this:
So, Dave……tell us about yourself. Who are you?
Well, l am an executive assistant…at a major pet products company.
I don’t want you to tell us what you do. I want you to tell us who you are.
All right. I’m a pretty good guy. I like playing tennis on occasion….
Also, not your hobbies, Dave, just simple: Tell us who you are.
I just….Maybe you could give me an example of what a good answer would be. What did you say? (to another group member)
You want Lou to tell you who you are?
No, I just….I’m a nice, easygoing man. I might be a little bit indecisive at times.
Dave, you’re describing your personality. I want to know…who you are.
What the hell do you want me to say?
My thoughts precisely. I suppose in order to know someone it is helpful to ask questions about their human experience. The events of our lives have formed us into who we are today. “Tell me about yourself” is so open-ended that it leaves too much to interpretation. If you want to know someone, ask pointed questions. That, at least, is my strategy. For example:
Where were you raised? Mostly in a dusty west Texas town called Andrews. But at 15 years old my folks moved us to Colorado and I lived there until I attended/dropped out of my first go-round at college in Oklahoma.
What is your dream job? I used to think this was a real possibility. I’ve come to the realization that it’s not about having a dream job, but about living your true purpose in life. I’ve had some amazing jobs and some horrible jobs. Jobs are not the dream. The dream is to connect and impact people while doing whatever job you are currently doing. The idea of a dream job is a fickle one.
What’s your favorite thing to do in your free time? Fly fish. (Not sure what “free time” is though.)
Favorite place you’ve traveled to? Santiago, Chile. I love the vibe of the city, the old Spanish architecture, and the geography, among other things.
Although not thorough, it’s a start. It’ll get you talking with someone which will, in turn, help you to get to know them. I’m sure you can think of other purposeful questions to ask them. What questions would you add to this list? Put them in the comments below. Thanks for reading.
